Lonesome Melodies
by Winterwing3000
Summary: His love haunts her, leaving her wolfish mind troubled as ever. What could one more meeting do? [AshitakaSan]


**Disclaimers** on everything that doesn't belong to me (characters of Princess Mononoke)

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Lonesome Melodies, 

By Winterwing3000

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Darting through the blackness of the night, the Mononoke made twists and turns throughout her journey to her destination. Branches and twigs snapped at her bare feet and leaves rustled noisily as the after wind comes at them in full force. 

Her breaths were quick and short, adrenaline pumped through her body as she eagerly made her way to the moonshine waterfall. Her keen sight and sense of direction led her through short cuts and to her sanctuary.

Her brothers were back in the Den, sleeping, and she had quietly sneaked out of there to think. The other forest spirits living within the territory of the wolves were asleep as well, though an ape or a bird would sometimes reveal a glaring eye to her, upset at being disturbed from their nightly rest. Paying their stern stares no heed, the wolf girl continued her way deeper into the dense area of the untouched forest.

Finally, her feet stopped automatically as it reached the sacred grounds of her haven.

Taking in a clear view of the perfect paradise, she noted that nothing had changed. The smooth slate colored stones were there as always, the foundation creating a hard slanted layback for her to enjoy the view of the burning stars. The emerald grass that was tended with the greatest care of the Apes was touched with night dew and tiny poppy flowers blossomed underneath the moon. And the waterfall shimmered and glistened; the clearest tones of water echoed quietly throughout the space. She veiled her light chocolate eyes and listened attentively to the gently music of the cataract entwined with the music of the breeze.

They sound so melodic, so beautiful together. It reminded her… of him.

Instinctively, her hand reached up to grasp the amber dagger that he had given her as a token of his affection, he said. Was that what he wanted from her? What was affection? Must be a human thing… otherwise, she would've known about it. So why was she wasting her rest over him?

Because… because… there was always this restlessness bothering her. Something that kept pestering her night and day, every breath she took, every minute she existed. This unidentified mystery that was stirring her heart kept her thinking of him every second she wasted over him.

Never mind, she shouldn't be thinking of him. He was at Iron Town living happily with those… those… ugh, those humans. He probably has a mate of his own now and even pups. Probably even forgotten about her and the simple moment they shared as they saw the rebirth of the forest.

She held back a sob. She would not be weak over a lousy human boy. She vowed on her mother's grave that she would protect the forest and not shed tears should anything happen. She promised that she would become the Guardian of the Mononokes, the Guardian of the Forest.

Oh… Moro… mother… Letting a sob escape her mouth, her fist clenched at her sides, body racking with silent cries. No, no tears. Squeezing them tightly, she fought them, tried desperately to restrain them, but to no avail. Though only a silvery droplet slid from underneath her eyelashes and plopped softly atop the pale bud of the new poppy.

Dropping to her knees from exhaustion, all turned black before seeing a figure with unruly dirt colored hair much like her own.

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Her conscious was stirring her body awake. Her eyes struggled to open as she reached out with her other senses as she tried to find out where she was. 

Concentrating very hard on the sound of the forest, the catchy tune of water crashing down the cliff was enough to tell her that she was nearby the waterfall. Taking in a breath, she could smell the scent of soil and poppies. She was still … here, safe in her sanctuary.

Her body… felt warm. Was it her fur cloak? No, she left that at the Den. It would surely rip to shreds if she wore it as she wildly dogged around the night. And it is the summer; it would be too heavy and warm to carry around. So was this body heat? Was it one of her brothers? No. Their fur is sleek and soft, coated with a mild scent of trees and blood, not callous and rough, filled with the overwhelming smell of wood.

Something by passed her mind's memory. She felt a shadow loom over her, something warm descending upon her.

Bolting up, she did a flip from her laying position and whipped out a fang dagger, locking her arms on the person's neck with the sharp fang pressed against his collarbone.

As an act of protection, her hostage snapped his fingers on her wrists' pressure points, causing her to fight his hands off and knock him to the ground with her feet as she stood up and rubbed them. Her weapon was discarded and picked up by him.

In a defensive stance, she watched carefully as if waiting for him to use her own weapon against her. But to her unexpected suspicions, he gently kissed the side of the blade, dark brown eyes, with a speck of amber in them, staring straight into its twins.

Her eyes grew slightly wide at the man.

"San… how are you?" He asked, standing up from his kneeled position on the floor.

"How dare you asked me that question…" San hissed at him, just realizing that they were so physically alike.

They both had the brown light hair, the coarse hands, the fierce battle chi, the gentle compassion; they shared the intertwined destiny with the Night Walker. And of course, the eyes filled with melancholy and pain.

"Aa… I'm sorry… for all the hurt I've put you through, for everything." He apologized, taking a hesitant step towards her.

She took a step back, giving him a wavering glare. "You never cared about me Ashitaka, so don't bother apologizing to me."

"There you are wrong San… I've cared about you more than you think… through the past nights after the work I was obliged to do, I would always look over the forest. I would worry of your happiness and safety. Every day… as I awoke, I would remember that night where you sheltered me in your mother's Den. I would remember how beautiful and peaceful you looked as you slept on, the look of serenity remaining on your face as if there wasn't a thing in the world to worry about. Your face would never leave my mind, my heart … and my soul." Ashitaka explained compassionately, taking a few more steps, stopping himself in front of her.

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. No, she reminded herself, lies, that's all they are.

"Liar. I don't want to hear …" The rest of her words were left on the tip of her tongue as he crushed her into his strong arms.

"I don't lie…" He whispered huskily into her ear, his breath brushing against the shell of her ear. Without a protest escaping her mouth, Ashitaka captured her lips in a crushing kiss.

Stunned and unsure of how to react, San pushed hardly against his chest so that they stumbled away from each other. She felt her lips were bruised, her heart fluttered madly, her head spun and her breath was quick. Confusion covered her eyes.

"What are you doing?" she asked almost hostilely but inwardly afraid. Her eyes widened with realization. "You were trying to poison me!"

Ashitaka looked bewildered at her reaction but shook his head and answered her. "Yes and no. It is a sign of affection, something that is shared between two people who love each other. Though it has no bodily harm."

"…I don't understand. However, I do not want this… this affection of yours. I don't need any more of your lies." San spat out, ready to march past him, only to be stopped with his hand landing heavily on his forearm.

"There are no lies, San. A nose of a wolf is keen on change of scent. Yet, do you smell any trace of evil or falsehood in mine?" he asked softly.

She stiffened. His words spoke true. There was none, only cleanliness found in his scent. But--?

"Your brothers have consulted me two days ago of your constant troubles at the edge of the forest. I came here immediately in search of you."

Biting down a growl from her throat, San turned on her heel to face him. She was going to have a talk with her brothers. "My troubles are none of your concerns. And it is you who troubles me. Perhaps I'll feel better once you leave!"

"I know that you're confused San. We live in different worlds, and neither of us is able to adjust to the style of life without great sacrifice. Maybe time will cure your troubles. I will come back though. Your brothers wished me to keep you company since they themselves don't know what is happening." Ashitaka slipped his arms around her, pulling her back to his chest.

Unconsciously, she leaned back, soaking in the warmth of his body heat. Just as she leaned back, he released her and somehow weaved her slightly longer hair into a bun held by her bone weapon.

Her hand went up to finger the style, fingers gliding along the bone as she watched his back figure slip into the night with only a backward glance.

It was a while before she felt her heart sunk at the lack of his presence. Damn him. Damn him for constantly confusing her with more and more puzzles of human nature.

She fell to her knees and took out the bone from her hair, stabbing it into the ground. And shouted angry curses at him.

Without looking up, she felt a large darkness enveloping her. The smells were unmistakable. "It is time to return, sister." Her eldest brother barked, his head dipping into the cave.

Silently, she went to them and slipped onto her older wolf brother's back. As they treaded through the nightly forest, the younger brother said in a rumbling in his chest, "Eventually, you will return to him, sister. Mother has wished it so you will be alongside your own kind one day. And that boy is the start of that life."

"Moro has raised me as your kind, I cannot simply leave behind my life as a wolf." She returned sullenly, suddenly tired.

"You will not leave behind what you are. You are merely accepting another part of what you are. You shall always be our sibling, and we yours. There will be no change in your name but a new part will be added to who you are." The one carrying her said.

"The boy means well. Though he smells of metal and too much smoke." The younger snorted. "Moro said his song is weary and independent, but alone. Too much like yours. Not that I understand her meanings."

San laughed softly at her brother's words, mind drifting to darkness. "Mother has always a way with words."

Maybe… just maybe, she'll listen to that song of the breeze and water just for a little longer.

The wolf princess allowed the sweet melodies of the wind and wood lull her the darkness.

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AN: **Well… that was awful. I haven't even watched for five years and yet I decided to finish this. Happened to have stumbled upon my drive and said what the heck. Though, the ending wasn't as pleasing. Too many meanings and loose ends but I really haven't a clue what and where to go with this. Comments anyone? 


End file.
